Today you will be editing and redrafting your first paragraph. Below I have created a video showing the outcome of our editing in class. It talks you through the problems and issues with it, then what we thought about on how to correct it. We also looked at some vocabulary choices, but this was not the main focus.
The second video is of me talking through the second shared write that we did, improving on our existing writing. You can see we have kept the majority of what we did before, we just made some tweaks, added in parts for clarity and checked it all made sense.
Instructions for the grammar tasks are on the sheet. Word version if you would like to type.